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You think you know me but you have no idea!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


Sometimes I lay in my bed and I wonder where I'm headed in life
I try to figure out my purpose and if there is more to it than what I know.
I feel so lost and confused and hungry for some sort of path, 
It feels as if I was dropped in the middle of a desert without a compass
Am I gonna play ball? What's my comm degree gonna do for me? 
Should I take on my pops business? Should I do something to help people?
I don't know. 

My mom seems unhappy and my father seems unhappy
I think it's because they're both getting to that age
And the thought of them soon not being here makes me sad and distant from everything else
I cry at night because any moment could be the last time they tell me they love me.
It is crazy how as kids we don't realize how much our parents care for us
It's not until we're older and time is winding down when we finally appreciate them

I know the family that raised me will always be my support,
but I can't say the same for the people I call my friends, it's hard to determine
I think about who's really in it for me and has my best interest at heart.
Lately I even feel like there is no one I can trust and that everybody is here to snake me,
I'd rather sit in my room and think about my life than play videos games with the boys in the living room
Because the more I think, the more I can distinguish what the most important aspects are. 
I ask myself questions like, who's gonna be around five years from now?
who would come see me if I went to jail? who would fuck my girl if there was an opportunity to? who would lend me money if I needed it? 

I'm reminded of how cold the world can be so I close my door and keep sheltered until I reach my goal

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